No Need for Apologies

A couple weekends ago, I spent the day with my mom. I always love days spent with her. I appreciate them more now than I did in the past and I'm sure that's because I'm now a mom. We got to talking about all the things and SHE actually apologized to ME because of the toxic marriage that I got myself into.

Wait a second..... what? Something isn't right here. Should she really have been apologizing to me?? I should apologize to BOTH of my parents and be paying them back for the money wasted on the beautiful wedding that I didn't even have a say in planning. Except for my dress.

However, I see my moms point, I was struggling and unhappy for years and as a mother, she thinks she should've seen it and should've known - as we all do as mothers. We think we should know before our children do, what's happening and how/when to fix it or intervene.

Unfortunately, that's not always the case. I chose not to see what was right in front of my face and when I did see it, I smiled and put on this brave face and acted like I was happily married. When my mom apologized, she told me, sometimes she sits and thinks and all these times replay in her mind when she sees that she should have intervened. She saw a man putting on an act and her daughter staying strong for her babies.

As a mom now myself, I can completely understand how this could weigh on my own mother but regardless of the circumstances of the past, I came out a much stronger person and part of that is because of the amazing support I have from my Mom. 🩷

If you've had someone in this situation, it's my personal opinion that apologizing to them for NOT getting them out of their toxic situation sooner isn't necessarily the right direction. It won't change the past, instead;

• Be there to listen when they need to vent.

• Make sure they know they have your support.

• Help them with the kids when they need it.

• Let them know their feelings are valid.

Sometimes all we need is someone to sit next to us in the silence and know they've got our back.