The Challenges of Parenting - Am I Doing it Wrong?

I've been told that I "baby" my baby.

While that's not completely UNTRUE, I think people misunderstand or aren't fully aware of the reasoning behind it.

Those of you that know me personally have heard me refer to my youngest as my “problem child since the womb.” Now, that’s not to say he’s a bad kid or anything like that by any means,(even though he is most definitely strong willed to the bone!) but for just being 9 years old, the boy has been through a lot and I’ll admit I’m a bit protective of him. (I think he is of me as well 😊)

Let me start at the beginning:

His due date was November 2, 2015. Right off the bat things started out rough. November 2 is the day that my Grandmother passed away in 2013 so I really didn’t want my baby associated with such a sad day. Well, November 1 came and that night, my ex husband and I had a pretty big yelling match. The next morning, November 2, you guessed it, here comes baby! I’m still convinced he did that because A) the yelling stressed me and him out and 2) he wanted me to have a happier memory of that day.

He must have been more stressed about joining the world than I thought because during labor, he decided to scare us to death and slow his heart rate down. Luckily, we got him out safe and sound! Only to find out a couple of days later from his doctor that he had not one, but TWO urological conditions that required surgery. (I found this somewhat ironic since I had just started working at a urology office 9 months prior.)

Now, neither of these procedures were life threatening, but they still needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later with one more pressing than the other.

At 6 months old, he went in to have his first surgery; hypospadias repair, this is where the hole for the urethra is not in the proper place(for instance, the tip of the penis- his was underneath) so they have to move it. It wasn’t a real long surgery but I was scared for him nonetheless. Then when he was a year old, they did what is called a hydrocelectomy - which is basically just draining fluid from a testicle. Super easy!

The recovery process for these was the worst!! He wasn’t allowed to sleep on his tummy so someone had to sleep with him on the couch and make sure he stayed on his back! Needless to say, the parents didn’t get much sleep!

Moving along to when he turned 3, we found out he was developing a bit of a lazy eye and if he waited on getting glasses, it would only get worse. I hated this for him at first because I know kids can be cruel, but we found him the coolest different colored bendable frames through https://www.roshambo.com/ that he’s totally rocked for the last 6 years and gets compliments wherever he goes!!

When he started playing baseball, I think is when I may have started to protect him a bit more. Not because I was scared he was going to get hurt, but because he takes more after me when it comes to sports. He has athleticism in him, just not as much as his dad or his older brother. He’s more of a gamer or a tech kiddo, which I’m all for, however, when your dad is your coach and your older brother is more into the sport than you, sometimes you feel a bit pressured to live up to their standards and if you don’t there seems to be some tension and frustration and feelings of not being good enough.

Also, like me, he will overthink when he plays and worry that his next move might not be the move his coach wants him to make, so he doesn’t make it. Which typically leads to problems.

I never want either of my boys to feel like their dad or I think they aren’t good enough at anything so it hurts my heart to know that my little one feels that way at times even though he is doing his absolute best and it’s hard to make him understand how to handle this because he has never been great at processing his emotions.

On top of my sweet boy having to worry about doing his best, just recently he’s been fitted with a mouth expander and face mask to widen his mouth to prepare for braces - this is work for everyone at nighttime! He also has had a crazy bad eczema attack that required steroids to contain and heal. He’s on the mend with his skin and I’m hoping we can figure out how to control it after stopping the steroids.

Nine years and this poor babe has been through so much more (I didn’t even include the divorce and our fire) than a lot of people have by the time they’re 30!

So, yes, I might be a little more protective of my baby than I am of his brother but at the same time I know this is just a season we’re in right now and know we will get through it when we get through it.