Brand New Girl

My eleven year old said to me recently, “Mom, we need to find you a boyfriend so you stop being sad sometimes.”

I responded with, “I’m not sad because I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t need a boyfriend to make me happy.”

It’s true I joke alot about my love life and how it’s really non-existent and I’ll never have that happy ending, but I also want my kids to know that you don’t need another person in your life in order to be sufficiently happy. It took me 38 years and a lot of trauma and heartbreak to figure this out. I want my boys to learn it sooner and with lesser heartbreak and trauma.

Recently I did a thing that completely changed my life and I want to share it with you.

I think I told y’all the story of how a breakup earlier this year caused me to lose a couple of people I considered practically family and that absolutely broke me. I felt like I had failed in my life yet again even though I KNEW I hadn’t. This whole situation caused my mental health to drop about 10 steps backward which I hated after all the work I’d done. So, I allowed myself a pity party for a minute and talked it out with my emotional support kiddo, then decided to get off my ass and back to who I was before that relationship.

I started going out again and doing all the things I love doing. I was introduced to SO many people that I normally wouldn’t introduce myself to or even think to hang out with and guess what happened?

Did they ignore me? No.

Did they talk bad about me? No.

Did they not want me to come back? No.

What they did do was welcome me like family. Ask where I was if I wasn’t there. Hug me when they saw me. Immediately take an interest in me and what my story was.

That’s not all I started doing though. Both of my boys play baseball and typically I’m the mom that stays in the background and keeps to myself. I think I did that mostly because my boys dad coaches both of their teams and I didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself than necessary.

Well, recently I decided that way of living was pathetic so I basically inserted myself into the other parents circles (whether they liked it or not. They seem to be ok with it! ) and sort of just latched on a little like a fungus in a way.

Can you guess what happened in that situation? The exact same thing as before!! We’re friends, we hang out outside of baseball games. We genuinely want each other’s kids to do well.

Yes, it’s true, there’s still going to be the few people who dislike me and want to tear me down, but knowing that I have the strength now to not give a damn and to know how to find MY PEOPLE, I’m not concerned about those few that try to shade my sunshine.

I’ve always said that finding good, genuine people that you vibe with is HARD. I still stand by that but once you know HOW to find them, you’ll have that happily ever after whether you know it or not. It just might be a different kind of happy ever after. ❤️