The Only Thing I’ll Likely Ever Commit To

As a divorced mom, I’ve come to realize that when I see my kids, I feel like I need to love on them extra hard to make up for the days I haven’t loved on them. Does that sound crazy or are there more moms like me out there in the world??

Someone told me recently that my boys and I seem to be a “unit, already set in your ways, and that’s hard to break through.”

I don’t disagree with this. Obviously, it’s been the three of us for 3 and a half years. We’re pretty content and we’ve been put through more than we should have been, so yeah, I think we’ve all got some walls up and I think due to what we’ve been through, we tend to stick close to each other.

From an outsider's perspective, it might appear challenging to find where you fit in. It certainly requires time, patience, and understanding from everyone involved, which can be taxing when multiple parties are somewhat stubborn.

In the past, I wrote about several men who, after just one date, expressed that they weren't interested in a relationship because they had grown accustomed to being single. At the time, I considered this an excuse. However, lately, I've been experiencing similar feelings.

It's somewhat difficult to articulate. On the one hand, how can someone be a romantic, deeply desiring to find their partner, to share moments, cuddles, and memories, yet simultaneously crave independence and the freedom to be their authentic self? Yet, on the other hand, I think I feel this way because of my boys. I don't want them to feel like they have any less love from me because someone else enters the picture.

Y’all know how long and hard I’ve spent getting my mental and emotional health back on track to where I’m in a happy place. I’ll be damned if I let someone take that away from me again!!

So, yes, in the end, I'll likely end up the crazy cat, book and puzzle lady, only committed to my children but I'll have my peace.